Updated: May 15
"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."
- Leonard Cohen
My best friend introduced me to Leonard Cohen's lyrics many years ago. One of her favorite lyrics, and words of truth that have danced with me in many ways over the last fifteen years.
We are all broken - or will be broken at some point in our lives. Something, someone, will break us - once or many times over. It's part of the human condition - the universal human experience. Yes, the details will be different. Some have endured much worse than others in this life or in the energetic memories of what has been endured before.
But broken none-the-less - "cracked" by pain.
We often spend our lives escaping and repressing pain, seeking the antidote outside of ourselves. But in truth, while it's better than being engulfed in depression and negativity, we are still living life in pain avoidance (fear), running away, and seeking temporary highs in "good vibes," substances, sex, achievements, materialism, martyrdom, and adrenaline inducing experiences. Seeking security to give us the illusion of power over our problems and stability. Only to be let down when the high ends and we're back to "normal"... or we wake up one day numb or realizing our limiting stories built little more than a house of cards we never wanted to be in.
Pain is not something that we can avoid. If we try to avoid pain, we will run from life - from the very thing we seek: connection (love). We will run from connections with ourselves, connection with others, connection with our planet, with our universe. We will spend our lives anxiously running from death by clinging to everything or running from real love to avoid the pain of loss and betrayal.
Stop the madness.
When we raise consciousness our understanding of pain shifts.
It is the key to growth. It is the key to leadership. It is the key to your extraordinary connected experience in life.
Stop running from it.
Face it. See it clearly. Feel it. Grieve it. And transcend it.
Ask it, "What can you teach me about what love is and isn't? What can you teach me about what is healthy and what is destructive? What can you teach me about 'truth'?"
Now hold that teaching in your heart. Hold it and say thank you with the depths of your body. Say thank you to the one who hurt you, to the system that hurt you, to the universe that hurt you to show you the shadow that we're here to heal and transcend together.
Say thank you for showing me what love isn't so that I can do better to embody more of what love is tomorrow.
That is the "purpose" of pain. We learn through contrast. Don't push it away. Integrate it.
Let it go with compassion and gratitude.
Forgive the system that made them.
Forgive yourself for any harmful behavior you may have contributed.
Take your power back through accountability.
I will do my best to hold space for what love is.
I will make the changes that I'm able to in my life.
Find peace through radical acceptance.
Utopia isn't a place, it's a direction.
Do what you can without hurting yourself and accept what is bigger than you at this moment in time.